just like alanis

i left the house at 5:30 PM for my 5:30 PM class. as usual, i blame the alarm. not that i was asleep. i just needed to be reminded.

so, i crammed my way to getting ready, taking a cab instead of my usual means of public transportation. 15 minutes before 6 and i was half running to the elevator that takes me to my floor.

and we have no class. now isn't that lovely?

sunsets

i remember your sunsets, and how you have talked about having to spend the rest of them with me one day.

i miss talking to you nonsense. like, one time you wished that we would both be stranded in one island together. no wi-fi, no cellphones, no one else. that way, you will have all my attention, and i will have all of yours. and i would sit there, listening to you, wondering how someone could ever sit there long enough without falling for you.

you have made me your life goal. with that, i have nothing else left to say.

but maybe holding on too much doesn't do both of us good. maybe, we would both wake up realizing that we have wasted way too much time waiting for each other.

so today, i am letting go. finally, letting go.

but your sunsets. how could i possibly let them all go?

august 06, 2008

dont make me hate you
for something i should not hate you for,
like how you would look at me so deeply
and just casually leave me aside.
believe me,
i think all of this over when im alone
and i hate you for making me
bleed, recover and cringe
all at the same time
not because i dont have time to arrange them in stages,
but simply because they come all together in knowing you.
it hurts when i get close,
but it even hurts more when i dont.
i just think
that when im older
ill think more rationally.
but im already older,
and maybe this is me thinking rationally..

noggie

two days ago i was awake for 51 hours. then i realized i havent eaten for 22 hours. no, i am not suicidal. so, when noggie (my boss) told me he is resigning, i was so light-headed i laughed. "right," was my only response, shrugging my shoulders. and then i saw his resignation letter. signed by super mario. and suddenly, i felt sad.

we call him noggie/nognog. basically because he is dark and sunog. but we love him anyway. he is dumb for the most part, but he loves us back. that's impotant.

one time, i left my email open and he sent everyone an email using my outlook saying '"im hot and sexy." this happens all the time. also, there was an open love letter sent to someone with everyone copied from a poor colleague's outlook. so basically, when you get an email saying "i am a stripper," you know someone has been had. the worst was when someone used my IM and messaged a male friend of mine saying, "lets have sex. just as friends."

thats another demotivator. no one will pull me by the arm anymore to go with him to the smoking area. i will have no one to backbite the other bosses with. no one is gonna yell at me to go get a week off because i am getting thinner.

but ill think of it this way. i can leave my email open more now.

jeez.

super mario

my boss does not have a neck. seriously, i have no idea how he is able to move his neck from one side to another. his head is connected so close to his shoulders, it distracts me everytime he speaks in the meeting.

my workmates call him raphael - i mean, yes, the teenage mutant ninja turtle kind- but i prefer calling him super mario. i don't think he walks. he bounces.

super mario is not generally-liked. when he asks to talk to you, you know you're doomed.

now yesterday, i was arguing with my workmate about the functions of f5 and f9 in outlook. when the emails keep flooding, you learn more than what you're supposed to in outlook.

"hi, how are you doing?"

it was a trick. super mario was asking me how i was doing. that could not be true.

"are you okey?" again, he asked.

i looked at him, wide-eyed, wondering if he was true. his face was so close to mine, i felt like he was gonna eat me anytime. "do i not look okey?" i asked back, confused.

"i am just asking if you're okey."

"do i look sick?"

"can you just answer me if you're okey?"

"i'm okey!" i answered, way too quickly than i normally do. it's the i'm-okey-now-get-the-hell-out-of-here kind.

he smiled.

i smiled back- the world's fakest smile.

super mario just asked me if i'm okey. gah! i'm doomed.

the Discipline Office

i love the smell of our Discipline Office. it is not too fragrant, not too artificial smelling - in fact, it does not have any scent at all, which makes me like its smell.

i pushed the glass door open when i came in, and the Discipline Officer gave me his usual nod and said hi.

he knows me by my first name now.

seeing him talking to a student, i took the seat at the corner and waited for him to be done. i was so bored, i started texting people in my phonebook in random.

"..would you agree?" was all i caught when i noticed the Discipline Officer was talking to me. i had heavy metal on both ears, i had to take the earphones off and lamely mumbled, "i'm sorry?"

"i said," he repeated, "that the use of any electronic device/gadget is strictly prohibited, she had to extend her community service before she gets completely cleared.."

"uhuh," was all i managed to say, turning off the ipod.