toothbrush

i don't usually go out drinking whenever i got work the next day. two nights ago, however, i came home not as sober as i was expecting. i was not supposed to drink, but the beer was just way too inviting.

i brushed my teeth, and on my way out of the bathroom, i saw my toothbrush floating in the toilet bowl. i didn't even know how it got there.

i stooped down, and watched it that way for quite some time. i was comprehending things slowly. 'my toothbrush fell into the bowl. my toothbrush fell into the bowl. my toothbrush fell into the bowl..'

almost a year ago, i was the happiest person i could remember. simply because you made me. what happened, exactly? since we fell apart, everything else seemed like a lie. you were the only truth i ever held on to. but now that you've gone, i feel so vulnerable to all these lies. unprotected and unsafe.

holding on to the rim of the bowl for support, i stood up and picked up the toothbrush to throw it into the waste basket.

im tired. really, i am.

the longest time i ever spent in front of the toilet bowl, and through it all, i only thought about you.

sunsets

i remember your sunsets, and how you have talked about having to spend the rest of them with me one day.

i miss talking to you nonsense. like, one time you wished that we would both be stranded in one island together. no wi-fi, no cellphones, no one else. that way, you will have all my attention, and i will have all of yours. and i would sit there, listening to you, wondering how someone could ever sit there long enough without falling for you.

you have made me your life goal. with that, i have nothing else left to say.

but maybe holding on too much doesn't do both of us good. maybe, we would both wake up realizing that we have wasted way too much time waiting for each other.

so today, i am letting go. finally, letting go.

but your sunsets. how could i possibly let them all go?

emotional junkshop

when i don't ask, it's not always because i don't care

most of the time,

i don't ask because it's better to leave things as confusing as they are.

i have learned,

that the answers that you get from confusing situations often hurt,

so it's better pretending as long as we can.

so, go on

let us go deceive each other while we can.

we lie our way to the truth because it's the only way we know how.

until then, we are okey.

we will be fine.

in the meantime.

yeah you know how we're gonna die, baby. we're gonna crash and burn. -overheard from the radio

if only i knew what i know now.