of course, almost always, nothing happens at the last minute. but then again, i stay and miss only God knows how many flights because i choose to stay anyway. i stay, hoping, that whatever that thing that is supposed to happen at the last minute is still going to happen no matter how late it gets.
stupid, of course.
within 365 days, i have learned the art of letting go in 3 different stages.
one, admit the fact that you have to let go. two, mean it. three, simply let go- the kind that no longer holds back.
the hardest of the 3 would be the second. because the moment i realize that whatever i have struggled to let go of comes back, it becomes more painful. like, a hundred times painful. and i start meditating on a hundred more different shades of hurt, because i know i can never fool myself too long. i lie when i say i am letting go for the most part.
this year, i have decided that i would do better in loving myself. holding on to something that is not meant to stay defeats all these.
in time, i'll do better. this is another year, another year to undo the things that i should have not done in the past year.
God, help me.
